WHAT DOESN’T BREAK YOUR ANKLE … MAKES YOU STRONGER!

A Special Thank You to Jabberwocky Festival

By Sian Armstrong

​I’m currently sitting on my bed, preparing to write this blog, and the first thing that comes to mind is, How the hell did Anna Ryder and I survive this week?
 
Making theatre is an emotional struggle at the best of times but when there’s…
 
1)    Illness
2)    Anxiety
3)    Broken down cars
4)    Sprained ankles
5)    Workshops with 27 teenagers
6)    Arguments with loved ones
7)    Live performances
 
…involved, it really feels like a test for survival.

But we did it, we pulled through - because that’s what us crazy, self-employed theatre-makers seem to do. We don’t give up - even when that might feel like the only logical solution - we keep going. I honestly feel like nothing can stop us after this week.
 
I was so proud of what Anna and I produced for Jabberwocky Scratch Night with just under seven hours of rehearsals.
 
I managed to learn my lines off by heart – I honestly did not know I was capable of this.

And, even full of flu, Anna managed to get out of bed to direct me on Friday morning. Although, looking back on it, I sort of wish she had stayed in bed… because after only ten minutes after arriving in Darlington, heading inside for our tech, Anna fell flat on her face and sprained her ankle. Poor Anna.
 
Zoe (my producer) whisked her off to A&E.
 
I was definitely still in shock when I started my tech, trying to process the fact my director and producer were with me one minute and off to A&E the next - and so I’m very very glad I had three lovely/patient technicians all helping me get everything sorted. From what I remember I flapped about on stage a bit, the technicians did their magic, tech was over and then I was line learning in the backroom.
 
Before I knew it, Anna and Zoe were back from A&E with news of a ‘nothing broken’ X-Ray, in time for my performance and able to help me get myself together and relax.
 
I’m always uncontrollably nervous before I perform - I don’t think that will ever change - double the nerves when it’s my own writing too. But the nerves soon disappeared when I got on stage - weird how that happens, isnt it?
 
I had so much fun, people laughed and apparently some people even cried? I definitely didn’t think it was possible to achieve such a mixture of emotion in 10 minutes - so I was pretty overwhelmed by the reaction.
 
It was so helpful to share our new material to what felt like a very warm and kind audience.
 
I heard things in my writing that I’d never heard before.
 
I realised new things about my character.
 
I got new ideas for the story.
 
All just from saying it out loud in front of a group of strangers.
 
It just shows how useful scratch nights are for theatre-makers, and no matter how vulnerable or scary it might feel, it’s a great way of getting a new perspective on your own work and finding things that you might not have found yourself in the rehearsal room.
 
I am so lucky to have Anna, such a powerful wonder woman, as my Director. She is a trooper and I know, with her on board, Stupid is in safe hands (even if she does fall over again).
 
I’m very grateful for Jabberwocky Festival allowing me the opportunity to perform.  
 
I’m also utterly grateful for the team I have around me, especially this week.
 
If you’re at the start of making your own work - make sure you have a strong support network around you, because when shit gets tough you need people you can trust, who will be there for you, will provide you with post-show food (thanks, Zoe!) and stay by your side (even with sprained ankles!)